Definition of a safe relationship: “In a safe relationship, you feel like you can be vulnerable. You feel heard. You feel seen. You feel supported. You feel like you can talk about aspirations and goals without being minimized. You don’t feel gaslighted. You don’t feel manipulated. You don’t feel minimized. You don’t feel trivialized. You don’t feel devalued. Safe relationships are places where we can completely be ourselves and not feel judged and feel like we can really extend our wings and take some chances.”

Dr. Ramani Durvusala

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When it comes to seeing reality, almost nothing gets in the way like a hope distortion, in either direction. If we are the type of person to lose hope just because something looks difficult or bleak, we will accomplish little. Almost anything of value is only accomplished because someone kept going past the moment of thinking 'all is lost'. We must always recognize and own the facts while at the same time never letting go of the determination to win. Hope is about holding on when it looks bad. If we are not in touch with reality, hope is almost always hurting us. Hope can keep us going down a road that has no realistic chance of being the right road or making what we want come to pass. In a false reality, hope is the worst quality to have! False hope buys us more time to spend on something that is not going to work and keeps us from seeing reality. We have to have our feet planted firmly in reality in order to harness the true power of hope. When you feel hopeful about the outcome of something over which you have only a small amount of control, always do a reality check.”

Dr. Henry Cloud

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And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments.4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

1 John 2:3-4

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A faithful witness will not lie, but a false witness breathes out falsehoods. A scoffer seeks Wisdom in vain [for his very attitude blinds and deafens him to it], but knowledge is easy to him who [being teachable] understands. Go from the presence of a foolish and self-confident man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips. The Wisdom [godly Wisdom, which is comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of [self-confident] fools is to deceive. Fools make a mock of sin and sin mocks the fools [who are its victims; a sin offering made by them only mocks them, bringing them disappointment and disfavor], but among the upright there is the favor of God.

Proverbs 14 6-9

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Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

Proverbs 22:24-25